It’s been a while since I updated the blog. I’ve gotten lost in a swamp of work and life changes. But now an even bigger one is happening to our country and I keep rotating between anxiety and shock. I don’t know how long it’s going to take for me to process this, sort of hoping that creating this post will help.
A lot of the time, when I’ve gotten angry about something lately, it’s been pretty much just me and pretty much just in a day to day way. Like the Ilvermony crap, or the pisspoor representation of bisexuals, or the white-washing in Doctor Strange. All that anger’s pointed at bigger issues, but people tend to do the one-shoulder shrug or the ‘yeah that sucks.’ Any group of friends will tell you–within very little time of knowing me–that I’m “the angry one.”
Half of America (honestly, probably a little more than that) has lost its fucking mind from grief, fear, rage, anger, anxiety. My Facebook feed is covered in people who can’t believe this happened to our country–or who can and are deeply upset about it. For once, I’m not the only angry one and I don’t have to go far to find someone else feeling the same shitty way I do.
Alone, I’m a voice screaming into a void and hoping to hear the echoing rage. Together, we can be a fucking chorus that won’t be ignored, that refuses to be trampled. That’s the only tiny embers I have left for my fire right now–that consolation and hope that we can get better because there IS a loud MAJORITY who did not want want this. Thousands of people have already begun protesting. We’ve got the brilliant thinkers on our side. We’ve got passionate people on our side. We’ve got compassion on our side. We’ve got rage and fury on our side. Fuck any silent nights. I can’t sleep? Okay. I’m going to do something with the anxious energy I can’t get rid of. I’m going to post. I’m going to protest. I’m going to create because they can’t convince me that what I am is wrong. I’ve had someone try before. Didn’t work then.
I’ll get through the shock and find the anger, fuel those embers back into a blaze. Because my friends are right. I am one of the angry ones. And a chunk of our nation just decided to give me some ugly-ass big ol’ dragons to fight. Fucking bring it.